Weaning, a process for Ty and for me.

I know it's all in the never ending process of letting go of your children when you are a mom. But today my heart is sad, I've started a process of weaning Ty from breastfeeding, with the goal of him being completely weaned by a month from now. He still longs to breastfeed and I never realized it until now, but it has become such a part of me over the last year and such an intimate bonding moment with my little boy that it breaks my heart to let it go. My desire to breastfeed started because of all the health benefits, and not to mention the money we would save on formula. And over the last 12 1/2 months, it's become so much more. I know it's a part of life and the next step in raising up a man to follow after God's heart, but this mama's heart longs to hold on tightly to those moments. And oh how I will miss the need he has for me, a need that only I can fill. It has been the most special experience of my life.

And while freedom will come for me with weaning, at the moment, the sadness that I feel seems to over power that selfish freedom that will come.

I know it will get easier. And as a mom, I want it, I want my baby boy to have independence and confidence and courage and this is a stepping stone to get there. But for now, for today, for this moment in time, I'll be a little sad to let my little baby grow up.

Lord, give me strength, confidence and assurance of who I am in You. Show me new ways to love on my little boy and ways to bond and connect with him as he grows and matures and becomes more independent of me and more dependent on You. And thank you for blessing my life with Ty.