Baby Turner!

Sonogram at 7 weeks of our little baby Turner!

I’m overwhelmed with blessings as I sit here and try to imagine the little life that’s developing inside of me. How unworthy and unprepared I am to have the responsibility of raising one of God’s children. And yet, knowing that God created me with the very purpose of nurturing and mothering this child that He has chosen to entrust to me, leaves me with such peace, confidence and excitement. I have so much to learn and these past 3 months of pregnancy have already been an adventure. This little baby, I have a feeling, will only continue to rock my world!

One thing is certain, our “home” is already becoming so much sweeter with this little life and I anxiously await bringing this baby “home” and we will all define together how our “home” will change and adapt as our family changes and adapts.

Josh and I found out early in December that we were pregnant. We went to the doctor at 7 weeks along and were able to have an ultrasound and see the little heart beating away! Just last week, we went in and got to hear the heart beating. It was so amazing! It was beating at 165 beats per min….isn’t that fast? We’ve heard fast heart beats, mean it might be a girl….we’ll have to see! I am about 12 weeks along and knowing that the 1^st trimester is coming to an end is reassuring, as the risks of miscarrying begin to lessen and the awful symptoms of pregnancy will supposedly begin to subside as well.

We have just started to let others know about Baby Turner and that sure makes it more real and exciting to be sharing the news with family and friends!

The one thing Josh and I continually remind ourselves is that this is not our child. This child is God’s, He is the one who is blessing us with this little life. And God is the one who will give and take away every life. And we are deciding right now, to be thankful for each day we are given with this child, even if all we get are these past 3 months, wow, what a blessing it has been. There are so many chances to worry and fret and try to control life and circumstances when you are expecting, but there’s no need, when the creator of the universe is taking care of it for us.

It’s exciting and scary to approach the reality of parenthood, but I’m SO SO SO happy to be given the amazing privilege to experience it and it is one of the coolest experiences to go through with the man you love more than anything. It has brought Josh and I together in ways we’ve never imagined, and I’m sure it’s only the beginning!

Pain

Lately God has really opened my eyes to the pain around me. It’s amazing how God creates us with hearts of compassion and the ability to experience pain for others, even if we are not directly going through the painful (physical, emotional, etc) experience ourselves. I believe God’s tender heart is placed inside of us to be used to minister, support, grief along side and love others as they walk through difficult times. If we didn’t have the compassion and tenderness of God, we would be cold-hearted and self-centered and numb to the pain of others, only aware of what is happening in our own lives. I believe God gives us the friends to turn to in times of trouble, someone to physically share tears with, someone to hug, someone to call and trust.

In Psalm 31:9 it says, “Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief.”

This verse is so real to those grieving and as my heart is filled with tenderness from the Lord, this verse becomes so real to me. It’s amazing to me how I can cry out in pain to the Lord, even as those in Haiti are experiencing the pain, and those friends dear to my heart are overcome with sadness and heartache. My heart aches too.

God calls us to love everyone. And it is my belief when you love someone, I mean, truly love someone, you live every emotional time in their life with them.

So today Lord, my heart is aching and grieving, I have pain because this life is hard, it’s not perfect, we will experience pain, and I’m saddened deeply because of the pain I’m experiencing with those I love. Praise You, Lord, that you give us hope, I know that pain will not last forever and You were, are and always will be Lord over all and have complete understanding over all. Help me rest in that, give me peace that settles my soul through that.

Psalm 31:24 “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”